She Intimidates Me...

 

…these are the words I heard myself say to a friend who recommended that I ask for help from a girl she knew. I realized my ears were hearing myself say something I’ve felt inside over and over—intimidation. I desperately needed help with decorating for events, but for some reason her poise, beauty, and expensive clothes intimidated me into saying, “Nah, I’m good…”

Or there’s this one…“I try not to make eye contact with her! Not sure why we’re at odds, but it is easier to act like she doesn’t exist…” I grew up being the kid of someone who was in charge of something…vague, I know. But the truth is, if your parents were in charge of something, you know that there were most likely a few times that Dad and Mom had stepped on someone’s toes and now their kids don’t want anything to do with you on the playground. It all seems so silly now, and yet…don’t we just do a grown-up version of that when we become “big kids”? Someone, somewhere, sometime, stepped on somebody else’s toes in my family, and now we need to act awkward around each other. She intimidates me…therefore I’m not required to show her the love that Christ commands.

“Talented…yes, she is super talented. But she’s also STUCK UP!” “Do you know her?” “No, but I’ve seen the way she is…” Essentially I was covering up for the fact that she intimidates me…Why is it that we immediately assume that because someone is talented, they are rude, self-centered, and unapproachable? Don’t talented people deserve a chance to prove themselves as kind individuals? But they intimidate me…

As I heard those words come out of my mouth, words that had swirled in my head many different times throughout my 27 years, I remembered having conversations with some of the very people who had previously intimidated me and hearing the exact same words come out of their mouth! It was then that I realized something…we all feel intimidated my each other. *Mind blown* Ok, so maybe that’s a slight stretch, but do you see what I mean? We waste so much time being intimidated by each other, when if we actually took the time to just be kind, friendly, look someone in the eye and say hi even if we feel awkward, we might get over the “intimidated hump”.

So here’s my proposal…today, don’t wait for someone else to say hi…you go first! Don’t even allow a second for intimidation or awkwardness to exist! Reach out to that “has-it-all-together” person…they may actually be very lonely and need a friend. The one who you’ve been at odds with? Bake her cookies, write a kind note to go with them, and let bygones be bygones. Have a NO VACANCY sign in your window when intimidation comes along. Assume the best! Reach out! And make your little community sweeter because you refuse to allow intimidation to steal the joy of developing wonderful relationships.

P.S. I just preached that entire paragraph to myself…thanks for listening in.