When It’s Winter In Your Soul

When It’s Winter In Your Soul 

by Sis. Erica Lefever

    It’s winter: the season that seems to steal the life of every green thing. And for some of us, winter feels like it’s stealing our lives too. I struggle a lot in the winter months with a deep sense of sadness, almost a tangible “dark.” I’m not talking about spiritual darkness of any kind. I’m talking about depression, and it’s something that I experience even though I am walking in spiritual victory. 

    Growing up in the church, I understood that serving Jesus would not automatically bring me wealth or innumerable blessings, because the gospel is not about prosperity. But somehow, I came to believe that having a relationship with Jesus meant that I would feel joyful even when life brought difficult circumstances. Of course, there’s a sense in which we must learn to praise our Savior even when life is hard. But we were not made to live in a perpetual state of happy, joyful bliss. God created us with emotions, and it’s okay—and healthy even—to feel those emotions. 

        Not every season in our lives will be the carefree, joyful summertime. Sometimes it’s winter. Whatever the reason or cause for the darkness of the winter season, remember that joyfulness is not the measure of spirituality. The measure of spirituality is holiness. God calls us to be holy. He doesn’t call us to feel a specific emotion all the time. If we know that it is well with our soul and simultaneously feel like the lights are out inside, that’s okay. God made us in His image, with an ability to feel a whole range of emotions. 

        When we look at the life of Jesus, we see that He experienced far more emotions than joy. The scene in the temple; overturning tables and chasing vendors out of the temple shows the righteous indignation He expressed because of the disregard the religious leaders had for the Temple. In the Garden of Gethsemane, before His crucifixion, He sweated drops of blood, a medical condition that only happens under extremely intense physical and emotional stress. He experienced deep sorrow and grief at the loss of Lazarus, weeping openly over this loss. He experienced the betrayal of one of His closest friends. Jesus felt far more than joy in His human body. Clearly, it’s not wrong to feel big emotions. 

        Maybe it’s winter in your soul. I want to encourage you, as someone who’s been there; that winter doesn’t last forever. The sun will come out again. God has a purpose in every season of our lives, no matter how difficult it may seem to us. Romans 8:28 is a promise I cling to: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” As long as we love God, we can rest in His promise to work everything for our good… even the winter.

And remember: joyfulness is not the measure of spirituality. Holiness is.