A Spirit of Willingness

by Sis. Sarah Plank

I was standing in the dimly lit studio, with oversized headphones stretched across my  ears and a fat microphone two inches from my face. The music producer played a section of  the song my siblings and I had just sung, but, to my horror, he muted the other voices, to only  hear mine. I felt instant embarrassment. My singing sounded weak; I hadn’t yet learned vibrato,  and frankly, I wasn’t singing my part correctly.  

Three of my siblings sang in a trio, and on this particular day, they were working on a  brand new recording. They had included me in one song; but, I had not wanted to be included  at all. They excelled in music. I, however, did not. I was a teenager and the youngest; so it had  not occurred to me that perhaps I didn’t sound like them because they were older and more  experienced. Instead, I was convinced that I lacked talent and skill. I felt embarrassed and  inadequate and felt this so strongly that I began to avoid music altogether. Later, before I went  to Bible college, I said I would never be a music major or sing in a PR group, primarily because  all my musical siblings had done so.  

   

Insecurities are common, and a part of human nature. However, Satan, has found our  insecurities to be a useful tool in his manipulation of us; if he can shift our focus to  ourselves, he then has succeeded in averting our eyes from Christ. In my case, because I  felt uncomfortable singing, I refused to take ministry opportunities that involved music.  Because I feared humiliation and insufficiency, I began to tell God what I would and would not  do with my life. I was unintentionally making life about me, and my insecurities made me look  at ministry as a performance rather than an act of service for the Lord.  

Through this experience, here is what I’ve learned:  

God does not need us to be highly gifted to use us in His kingdom. He used Moses,  a run-away who was herding sheep in the desert, to bring His people out of Egypt. He used  Peter, an uneducated, outspoken fisherman, to become his disciple. He used David, a child,  not yet old enough to go to war, to kill a giant. God is not reliant on our abilities to be of  service for Him.  

God asks us for a spirit of willingness to be used how He chooses. A spirit of self centeredness, whether it be that of vanity or insecurity, blinds us to what God wants to  accomplish through us. When we intentionally pursue being the hands and feet of Jesus, our  focus will shift from our own inadequacies. God will take our efforts and multiply them for  His purpose.  

Whether you feel capable or inept, you can be used by God. The One who formed you,  also has a purpose for you. There are no limits to our usefulness if we have a spirit of  willingness.