Ten Ways to Love

Ten Ways to Love

Today of all days, love is celebrated in every home and heart. In commemoration of this special holiday, today we will be discussing ten different ways to love others. Within the Gospel of Mark, we find Jesus being asked the question “Which is the first commandment of all?” (Mark 12:28) He responds that loving God is number one, and loving others is second. Jesus could have stopped at number #1, since that would have fulfilled the question. Yet, he intentionally chooses to include the second most important commandment. This merely demonstrates the priority of love. As Christians, we are called to love God supremely, but also to express love towards other individuals. Jesus’ sacrificial, unconditional love allows us to love the unlovable and to live a loving life. That’s the beauty of love. 

1. Give Without Expecting in Return

When Jesus explains the second greatest commandment, he doesn’t say to “love in hopes of great things happening.” No, he simply says to love others, as we love ourselves. True generosity is doing something without expecting anything in return. Luke 6:35 reads, “But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.”  As this verse says, we love no matter the conditioning, just as He does. It’s easy to love when there’s a reciprocal relationship, but that’s not what we’ve been called to. 

2. Trust Without Wavering

If you love someone, you desire to earn their trust. In other words, in order to trust someone, you must love them. If we love someone, we have to know them. As we express love to others, make it our aim to trust them. Instead of automatically assuming the worst, think the best. In 1 Corinthians 13, the chapter dealing with love, verse 7 says that love “always trusts.” It doesn’t come naturally to us to always trust, which intensifies the difficulty. However, the overwhelming love of God enables us to do the unthinkable. Joseph trusted God, even when his circumstances were less than desirable. Yet, he chose to trust God regardless of the situations he encountered. May we echo this unwavering trust, even when we face hardships. Trust regardless of the circumstances!

3. Forgive Without Punishment

Since we live in a fallen world, it’s full of hurts, hates, and hardships. We are bound to encounter conflicts with others, no matter how much we love them. Jesus, the perfect example, was scoffed at, mocked, and crucified by those who hated him. Yet, while hanging on the cruel cross on Calvary, he cried “Father forgive them, they know not what they do.”  He forgave, even though we were merciless. He loved, even though we were loveless. Let us show the same measure of compassion and love as our Lord Jesus. Not only to forgive others, but to not seek revenge. Ephesians 4:32 reads “be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” If we want to be forgiven, we must extend the same measure of forgiveness to those who hurt, hate, or harm us. 

4. Listen Without Interrupting 

“If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (Proverbs 18:13) How do you feel when someone interrupts you? A truly loving friend does not interrupt without  good reason. Proverbs 18 is full of wise words about listening to each other. In one place, it says that fools dig themselves into more problems by not taking the time to listen to others. We can show our love by giving our undivided attention to those that we are in a conversation with. Granted, you might not always agree with their opinion, but taking the time to listen develops healthy relationship habits. A failure to listen is a failure to love. 

5. Enjoy Without Complaint

Philippians 2:14 reads “Do all things without grumbling and arguing.” Our grumbling is not insignificant to God. Our testimony as children of God requires that we be marked, not by complaining, but by joy. We were created with the purpose to glorify God with our words and actions. Everything in life will not always be pleasant, but our attitude about life situations reflect our hearts condition. If we constantly are dwelling on the negatives, we will find it difficult to be joyful. As Christians, we are called to be set apart from the world, and “to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.” We can have joy in everything we do, because we trust God’s heart.

6. Answer Without Arguing

Stirring up conflict is not a way to show love to others. Proverbs 17:1 says “Better is a dry morsel, and quietness, than a house full of sacrifices with strife.” In other words, it’s better to have little and be at peace with others, then to have much and to be at odds.  As humans, it’s natural to want our opinions to be heard, and to want to always be right. However, when we look at scripture, the priority of loving someone is more important than ruining the relationship with an argument. Our words have the power to give life or death, let’s use them wisely.  (Proverbs 12:6)

7. Keep Your Promises

Our goal as Christians is to follow Jesus’ example.  An attribute of God is that he is a “promise-keeper.” If we make promises and are able to fulfill them, we are one step closer to stepping into the image of God. One of the characteristics of the person that walks with integrity is “he keeps his word whatever the cost” (Psalm 15:4). Throughout the Old Testament, we see again and again where God faithfully kept his promises, even when they were undeserving. The Israelites failed God over and over again, yet God was still faithful to them. There may be times when keeping our promises doesn't seem worth it. If we want to demonstrate the true love of Christ, we ought to keep them, whatever the cost. 

8. Speak Without Accusing 

Another way to show love to others is to speak without making accusations against them. James 1:19-20 says “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;  for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” To be quick to hear and slow to speak requires love and respect for others. It’s way too easy to make assumptions and to jump into the conversation without fully understanding the information. Ephesians 4:29 reads “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” God calls us to a higher standard of using our speech as a way to lift others up. If we desire to edify others with our words, we must first love them. 

9. Be Patient in All Things

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4) Patience is a fruit of the spirit. Impatience is a fruit of selfishness. Selfishness is the real enemy of true love. Love is patient because patience is the act of dying to selfishness and our own desires. When we die to selfishness and surrender to God’s ways, we find joy in being patient and loving others. Ultimately, love is patient, because God is patient. May we press on to grow in the grace of patient love. 

10. Learn to Let Go and Let God

Letting go and letting God is a daily discipline that we as Christians must make a lifestyle of. We must learn to surrender and give it to God, knowing he knows what is best. God’s mercies are new every morning, giving us a fresh start and new meaning to each day. At the same time, the devil is right there sending doubts, fears, and troubles our way. If the devil can get us distracted by his ploys,  he will invade our lives and leave no room for what God has for us.  There are some situations and circumstances that are simply incomprehensible for the human mind, which need the direction of the Holy Spirit. 1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your cares on Him, for he cares for you.”  If we want God to guide us in loving others, we must first surrender the situations to Him. The worries that we might have pale in comparison to the Almighty God we serve. When we surrender to Christ, we reveal that we truly, deeply love Him.

If you are struggling to express your love to others, I challenge you to read 1 Corinthians 13. Write down everything the love is, and what it is not. Keep this list close by and apply what you find to your own life.  

In conclusion, let me leave you with this quote “You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving.” Amy Carmichael could not have said it better. If we truly love others, it will come naturally to give of ourselves. Christ loved, so he gave. May we echo that love in our ordinary, everyday lives.